Just read (skimmed) a so called lifestyle magazine and was amazed at how much the ads and articles are trying to sell you a lifestyle. If you’re not sure what a lifestyle is, I’ll tell you.

It’s made of brushed stainless steel, has soft rounded shapes, and parts made of wood, or plastic in bright colours. You utilize it wearing your lifestyle-suit of either pre-trashed clothes that looks like it’s been used in several small wars, or a distinguished choice of smooth dark fabrics combined with a pink or purplish shirt and a striped tie that would make even Paul McKenna dizzy. Everything, of course, has to come with at least a four digit price tag, especially the pre-trashed clothes, otherwise it wouldn’t be lifestyle.

Oh! So that’s what a lifestyle magazine is. Maybe it was just that issue only covering the “hey look my sunglasses are bigger than the Thule radar and with diamonds-lifestyle” but somehow I doubt it. Apparently some people, all living in ocean-view houses and with the worlds largest and cleanest kitchens, have kidnapped the term “lifestyle” as if their lifestyle was the only lifestyle. Or is it the stainless steel manufacturers etc. trying to convince the less imaginative that it is in fact the only lifestyle.

But fear not o’ unimaginative consumer. If sucking in your chin and looking mysterious is not for you, here are a few alternatives.

• Skip the steel, use FedEx boxes
• Get a tattoo or two
• Live as they did back then
• Join the Wookiees
• Start a virtual farm
• Go hug trees